I attended a workshop last week on storytelling (which I would highly recommend by the way – Yamini Naidu).
My good friend and colleague, Jennie Hill, told a wonderful story that I have her permission to share.
“When I was 23 (this was 1986), I was travelling in Northern Thailand. I booked an international phone call to my parents to tell them that I was going into a monastery for 28 days to learn how to meditate. I would be living with, and like, the nuns and monks so I would not be in contact for that time. This was three days before Christmas.
They simply replied …OK.
What I realise now was that they gave me the gift of non-judgement. There were many ways they could have chosen to respond, but they chose to trust my decision and let me walk my own path to discovery. As leaders, we need to give the gift of non-judgement to our people. By judging them, we limit their opportunities for learning.”
Jennie’s story was greeted with the gift of silence. It was a powerful moment, and a powerful reminder that sometimes our desire to help, to support, to solve and to meet our perceived leadership obligations to others can be misguided, controlling and to the ultimate detriment of those we seek to support.
Sometimes we need to let go and let others make their own judgements, their own connections, their own mistakes, so they can learn in ways that will stay with them forever – that will allow them to take total ownership of the learning and be the ultimate advocates for new and more effective ways forward.
And they might even come up with better ideas than yours!
Michelle 🙂
