You can never really truly know why someone makes the choices they do, or behaves the way they do. Sometimes you may be baffled by the way YOU think and behave.  Furthermore, it’s not really your right to judge the behaviour of others, but you do have to live and work in collaborative environments, and you do have to understand and manage your own behaviour.

Behaviour is driven by so many factors, and underpinned by the fact that everyone of us is ‘wired’ differently – very differently.

It’s further complicated by one of the brain’s ‘see-saw’ structures between it’s Survival Centre (the Limbic System) and it’s Evolutionary Masterpiece (the Pre-Frontal Cortex).

You can’t be logical when you are highly emotional, and if you don’t have the mindful capacity to realise in the moment that you are emotional (which requires the logic that is being impaired by your emotional response), AND the brain capacity to deal with that emotion, then your behaviour can become primal, defensive, and in many cases, regrettable in hindsight.  If you have around 500 hours, I am happy to share many vivid examples from my own experience!

Human behaviour and motivation is complex, and hidden.  A bit like the proverbial iceberg – the truth is not what we see above the water, but what ’s going on underneath – and the underneath is difficult to get to.

How you are ‘wired’ is driven by four distinct contributing factors:

Evolution – the generic brain structure that we as humans have evolved – e.g., we all have a neocortex, and an amygdala…

Genetics – the tendencies and preference you inherited from mum and dad – e.g., a talent for music, or a tendency to fly off the handle…(me again)

Environment and Experiences – the family you grew up in, the country, the culture, the school you went to – e.g., the language and accent you use, attitudes to certain situations or circumstances, or habits you have observed and taken on as your own

Choices – the people you have chosen to hand with, the decision you have made, what you chose to study or focus on, what you have tended to pay attention to.The combination of these inputs creates your unique hardwiring – the unique combination of habits, memories and neural maps that influence your thinking and behaviour in any given moment.

As a leader, your ability to manage your own thinking patterns and behaviour, and to objectively diagnose what is going on under the waterline is a VERY USEFUL tool that can help to avoid overreaction, assumptions and emotional distraction.  It’s about understanding Human Motivation, that is, your ‘wiring’ and is an essential strategy for millennial leading.

Here are five questions you can ask yourself to assist in the diagnosis of a challenging situation…

1.   Am I being objective?  Is my judgement impaired in anyway?